i think true unity doesn’t look like we may imagine. it certainly isn’t everybody being or thinking the same… and even some of the fundamentalists i know would embrace that general idea. (not many, as you are right to point out) they, by nature of their beliefs, make it more difficult to talk. many think conversation is to only convince or share their story. listening to someone is also just a means to justify their next end. it is just a really bad way of communicating. and it often comes from fear. they truly need help in that department. scary sometimes. but i don’t think i am ready to throw out all their stories yet. i think legalism will always hit both sides of any coin eventually. we always need to be shown our need for grace.
jesus certainly called it out in his day, he won’t let it go on forever. but he let religious traditional people question him too, and answered them with truth in love.

i also want to clarify that i don’t think “loving” is always, or even most often ever, “nice”. i agree sometimes the loving thing, is to separate yourself from someone. that is healthy and important for both sides. but IMO, separation should always come with an open door, ready for reconciliation, considering certain boundaries in the relationship that are personally given from god. i think if reconciliation comes, that ultimately will show god’s unifying power. true unity maybe. i don’t think unity means laying down anything we know is from god for us (personal convictions)… and that goes for both sides. and that is what i think should be valued and often is not. we should only question eachother with that in mind. if someone on either side can’t come to the discussion that way, than i’d say let it be for a time, but be ready to talk when people are ready.